Actor, singer and all-around performer Dick Van Dyke turns 98 years old in 2023, and at this point, it's hard to imagine anything he hasn't done. We most likely remember him for his comedic roles on "The Dick Van Dyke Show" and "Mary Poppins," or his dramatic turns on "Diagnosis: Murder" and "Mary Poppins" (he also plays the elderly banker).
But he's also rapped with the drummer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, created computer graphics for television and consulted for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. His career spans more years than most of us have been alive (76 years and counting). It all got started with an audition in a latrine at an Army Air Field in Texas.
Van Dyke has never been ashamed to admit that cowardice led to his entertainment career. He even says he wasn't much of a soldier in his 2011 book, "My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business: A Memoir," where he recounts how his Army Air Forces career led to his life as an entertainer.
World War II started when he was just a teenager in Danville, Illinois. When he was in high school, he started filling in for drafted disc jockeys at the local CBS affiliate, WDAN. He was just 17 years old in March 1942 when he joined the U.S. Army Air Forces. The thought of being drafted into the Army and charging across the front lines filled him with dread.
"Anything but that," he wrote.
He went to the nearest Air Force installation and began taking IQ tests and physicals in an effort to become a fighter pilot. He was almost perfectly fit for the job, but there was just one problem: at 6'1" and 135 pounds, he was too skinny. He would take the test two more times before being accepted.
In an almost comedic turn, he actually lost weight during his second attempt. He was so worried about being sent to the front that his profuse sweating caused him to weigh in lower. Before his third and final attempt, he ate six bananas and drank as much water as he could before the weigh-in. He barely passed.
Van Dyke left high school for the Army Air Forces so fast, he didn't finish his schooling or get his diploma. After basic training in Wichita Falls, Texas, he was sent to Toledo, Ohio, for pilot training.
"I envisioned myself as a fighter pilot," Van Dyke wrote. "Which did not make sense, given my severe allergy to combat. It turned out to be a moot point. The closest I got to my pilot's wings was when the other trainees and I serviced the planes."
While the young soldier was getting perfect marks on his physics, math and aeronautics tests, he was failing every military-related test he took. One day, their commanding officer gathered them in a classroom and told them the Air Forces were about to make a major push against Japan.
"Some of you will be sent overseas as tail gunners," the CO said. "Others of you will be assigned according to your abilities."
Van Dyke started singing and dancing on the spot. His special abilities got him assigned to Special Services at Majors Army Airfield in Sherman, Texas. There, he built and painted sets, put on plays and performed sketch-filled variety shows. He even got a little booth in the mess hall, where he played records and read the news.
"Getting into Special Services was the best thing that could have happened to me -- and the Air Force," Van Dyke wrote.
One day, he noticed an announcement on the base bulletin board. The base radio station needed a new announcer for its daily entertainment show, "Flight Time." He signed up for the spot. A few days later, he was standing in line at the latrine when a guy came in and asked whether he was Van Dyke.
When Van Dyke confirmed that he was, the man situated himself at the latrine next to him, handed him a slip of paper and told him to read it. Van Dyke did as told. It turned out to be his audition for "Flight TIme," and Van Dyke got the job. He played music, read the news and shared war information.
For the most part, Van Dyke admits, he wasn't cut out for life in the Air Force. He was good at close-order drills and obstacle courses, but bad at anything that didn't involve speed or agility. He lacked discipline. His uniforms were seldom clean. He also hated flying.
When the war ended, he went home to Danville and took over his old job at WDAN. He knew that he wanted to break into television. By 1954, he was doing a comedy show at WDSU in New Orleans, his first TV gig. His ratings caught the attention of an old Air Force buddy who happened to work at CBS in New York.
It turned out that the man who approached him in the base latrine in Texas was Byron Paul, who would become a cameraman turned director at CBS. At Paul's suggestion, CBS flew Van Dyke to New York to audition. This time, the audition was in a theater and it would lead to Van Dyke's big break: a seven-year contract with CBS.
-- Blake Stilwell can be reached at blake.stilwell@military.com. He can also be found on Twitter @blakestilwell or on LinkedIn.
Keep Up With the Best in Military Entertainment
Whether you're looking for news and entertainment, thinking of joining the military or keeping up with military life and benefits, Military.com has you covered. Subscribe to the Military.com newsletter to have military news, updates and resources delivered straight to your inbox.