Have you ever had a role model? Someone in your unit, platoon or squadron? Someone in your family or friend circle? Maybe you admired someone on television or in the news and wanted to be like them?
Has anyone ever called you their role model? During your time in the military (or afterward), has anyone said that they emulate you, look up to you and aspire to be like you?
The idea of a role model isn’t new. Many of us grew up admiring famous people we saw in movies or on television; people who were doing things we thought were important, noteworthy or special enough that we wanted to be just like them when we grew up.
We may have known people in our close network who were leading lives and doing work we admired, and we watched them to see how to behave, speak and live our own lives. Finding a role model and being a role model can be important steps in your career, particularly in the civilian sector.
While a role model is defined as “a person whose behavior, example or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people,” anyone at any age can find a role model. Starting a new job? Find someone at the company who you can watch and learn from. Entering a new career field? Look for a successful leader in that industry who can show the steps to career greatness.
Role models are often different from mentors in that a mentor commits to helping you in the areas you need. Your mentor will guide you, bring in other resources, connect you to other people and support you in your journey. Your role model, on the other hand, may be someone you never meet or who doesn’t know you, but whose life, journey, experience or way of being you admire.
Finding a Role Model
It’s one thing to appreciate someone’s vast wardrobe or clever sense of humor, but a role model should represent personal and professional qualities you respect and admire. When considering whether someone could be your role model, ask yourself:
- Do I truly know what that person values, stands for and represents?
- Is my admiration for them superficial or deeper?
- What are the traits that person holds that I would like to emulate? Am I capable of being like that?
- Do I feel empowered and uplifted when I learn from them or watch them?
- Is their story like mine?
- Do I have enough context through which to evaluate whether they could be a good role model for me?
A client of mine came to the U.S. from Africa as a teenager. He said there weren’t many people in his small community in the Midwest who looked or sounded like him, so he sought out role models on television and online. He looked for people who’d experienced a dramatic change (like he had, relocating to a foreign country), who stood for values he had (generosity, integrity and community) and who surrounded themselves with others who lived good lives.
Over time, he’d sometimes change role models. At first, his role models weren’t people he personally knew, but as he went to college, then the military and later to work, he sought out people he could access who possessed similar traits to those early role models. He continues this practice, and it helps his career, sense of self and interactions with his friends and family.
How to Be a Good Role Model
The first time someone called me their role model, I literally turned around as if they must be talking to someone behind me. I asked myself, “How could I be someone’s role model?”
Without even knowing it, you could be a role model to someone in your network. Maybe someone knows you only from your online interactions, your military work or your behavior in your community. They could be watching you and learning from you as they learn how to be better themselves.
To be a role model, ask yourself:
- Am I authentic in my interactions with others? Do I show them who I truly am?
- Do I ask good questions and show my curiosity?
- Am I living my values on the outside or holding them as private?
- Do I act with confidence and decisiveness?
- Do I include others in conversations and let others shine?
- Can I ask for help?
It is a true honor to be someone’s role model! Whether they tell you or not, assume that people coming up the ranks behind you are watching and learning how to be better, how to grow in intentional directions, how to be generous, live with integrity, navigate challenges, share with others, be authentic and stay humble.
They could be learning from you how to show humility at work, how to be brave in the face of adversity and how to lead with your whole heart. Others are watching you, and if you ever hear that you’re someone’s role model, thank them for the honor and continue to prove yourself worthy. In the process, you’ll learn, grow and develop yourself.
The author of "Success After Service: How to Take Control of Your Job Search and Career After Military Duty” (2020) and "Your Next Mission: A personal branding guide for the military-to-civilian transition" (2014), Lida Citroën is a keynote speaker and presenter, executive coach, popular TEDx speaker and instructor of multiple courses on LinkedIn Learning. She regularly presents workshops on personal branding, executive presence, leadership communication and reputation risk management.
A contributing writer for Military.com, Lida is a passionate supporter of the military, volunteering her time to help veterans transition to civilian careers and assist employers who seek to hire military talent. She regularly speaks at conferences, corporate meetings and events focused on military transition.
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