"Can I pick your brain?”
You know I love it when job seekers reach out to me on LinkedIn — especially when they are veterans, spouses and transitioning military. I’m like a lot of recruiters, hiring managers and career coaches in the veteran and spouse employment space. We want to get you hired!
But some of the things job hunters say don’t go over well. Some of these phrases may sound normal. You might have heard them yourself, or been told to say them by a well-meaning advisor.
You think you are being casual, cool and friendly. You are not. These things end up sounding kind of grisly. If you are a job-seeking veteran or spouse, here are some things you can stop saying and what you should say instead.
1. “Can I pick your brain?”
Everyone tells job hunters that they need to do informational interviews. You don’t really want to ask, but you recognize that your job is going to come from someone in your network. Smart. So you reach out to a contact and ask, “Can I pick your brain?”
My inner answer is always no. It is not because I think you are going to pull out a fork and knife and go all zombie on my cranium.
My inner answer is no because these words always come at the beginning of someone’s job search. These words are the sign that you are looking for me to come up with a magical answer that does not exist.
INSTEAD: Remember, we all want to help you find a job. In your message, indicate you have already done some research and now you have questions your contact can probably answer. Your message could say something like, “Jacey, I already watched your federal resume class and it helped a lot. I’m having some trouble figuring out where the core competencies are in the job listing I’m looking at. Do you have a few minutes to help me out?
The answer to that kind of request is always a big fat YES.
2. Here is my career corpse. Let’s make soup!
OK, no one on the job hunt ever asked anyone to make corpse soup. Instead, the phrase is more likely to sound like: “Here is my resume. What do you think I could do at your company?”
I know you think this is a reasonable request. After all, the person you are asking has a lot more experience in civilian jobs than you do.
What you do not realize is that this request is like asking someone over for dinner, flinging open the refrigerator and saying, “What do you want to make out of my ingredients?”
That is a lot of work. Even for those stellar individuals working on veteran recruiting teams, this is a big ask.
INSTEAD: Before you approach a veteran recruiter or a contact at a company, take the time to look at the company’s website. Identify two jobs you think you are qualified to do. Then send a message like, “Hi Sarah. I was looking at this job as a Project Manager II (include the link so that they know exactly which job you want). Do you have a few minutes for a quick call to answer a couple of questions?”
3. I’m ghosting you
Every military community has someone on the outside who is the godmother or godfather of their profession. It’s usually an individual who finds it personally rewarding to help others find jobs. They are the angels of the military world, helping far more people than they know. So why are you ghosting them?
After meeting with them, they invite you to stay in touch. Then you never contact with them again. You think you are “not bothering them.” They think you are ghosting them.
Even if you are not interested in the options they offered or the suggestions they gave, it is only polite to keep in touch with the people who have met with you along the way.
INSTEAD: Send out updates from time to time even if you do not have a firm job yet. Send something like, “James, You were so generous with your time and words of encouragement last month. I just wanted to let you know that I signed up with FourBlock and I’m starting their program next month. I’ll be in touch as the process moves forward.”
Finding a job is never easy. Don’t forget how many people are pulling for you. We really want to move you in the right direction as soon as possible. The right words go a long way. Reach out today.
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