We have the same conversation every year. "I think I'll participate in No-Shave November," my husband says. I groan. I pretend it doesn't bother me. I pretend he's serious. And then I lay down the ultimate ultimatum. You know the one.
But really, one of the appeals to the whole "love a man in uniform" thing for many military spouses is the reliably clean-shaven face, right? We really don't want to see what happens after 30 days of not shaving.
In short, we love to hate No-Shave November. Here are some reasons why.
It looks funny (because we are not used to it). For some, the four-day weekend stubble is cute, and just enough to give us a taste of what we really aren't missing. And then comes the "leave beard," over maybe two weeks, and we are quickly reminded that we don't love it at all. A month of not shaving? No thanks.
Mustaches are creepy. Certain things remind us of other unpleasant things. Mustaches can do that. Now, obviously not all men with mustaches are bad. But somehow, no matter how wonderful a man is, when he starts to grow one, he also takes on a bit of an "ick" factor.
Masks don't make it any better. Yes, we know that there's some guy in the office who suddenly wants to wear his mask all the time, even when he doesn't have to. We also know that he's growing a mustache under there and thinks he can get away with it. And he may be able to, until he goes home. We doubt he's wearing his mask all day and night.
It's unprofessional. Call us old fashioned, but when our grandfathers left for work in a suit and tie they were clean-shaven. And they came home that way too, often thanks to the electric razor they stashed in the glove compartment. Facial hair can also look professional if well maintained, but it's not classically professional like being clean-shaven.
The growing-out stage is annoying. My children like to call their dad "spicy" when he doesn't shave for a few days. It's rough, it's prickly and it in no way makes me want to cuddle up next to him. Yes, it may result in something softer in a few days, but we have to get to that point first.
We're (not secretly) jealous. Sure, we could stop shaving our legs in November. But that doesn't really do anyone any good. Maybe we're jealous because we want an international movement to participate in that shows off our woman-ly abilities to do something. Maybe.
There's no point. Yes, we know that the initial "Movember" movement was to raise money for awareness around men's health issues -- a noble cause. But when was the last time your no-shaver participated in the money-raising part? Most of the time, it's just a competition on who in the unit can grow the worst mustache. And, as Army spouse Courtney says, "it's a pretty stiff competition, because they are all awful."
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--Rebecca Alwine can be reached at rebecca.alwine@monster.com. Follow her on Twitter @rebecca_alwine.
