Dear Mrs. Vicki,
I love your column. I read it every week and I thank God for the work you do. I am writing to ask for your advice on how to cope with deployments. My fiancé and I have known each other for almost six years now, but we have been a couple for eight months.
Most of that time, he has been away, so we have spent only a little over a month in each other’s company since we started courting last October. Last time he was home, he asked me to marry him before he left for Afghanistan. Of course, I said yes.
I'm thrilled! But I know for at least the next nine months I won't see him. While I'm sort of used to it, it’s still hard. This will be part of my life and I want to learn to handle it right. I'm very new to military life, so I don't know a lot about it. I want to be a good wife and support. Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Future Military Wife
Dear Future Military Wife,
Thank you for writing me and for sharing your story. I truly hope things work out for you and your fiancé. It sounds like he has picked a winner! There is much to learn regarding military culture. However, I think you will make a great adjustment.
Always remember to be yourself, the rest will happen naturally. I don't want you to feel that you have some big test to pass or that someone is looking over your shoulder watching to see if you will be a good military wife or not, right?
Related: Words of Advice for a New Military Wife
Continue to pursue your own goals and dreams. When you are married, you and your husband will join your goals together so you can grow as a couple and as individuals. Respect and consideration for each other will be paramount.
In the meantime, write to him often, expressing your needs and desires to him, send care packages to him as often as you can, and stay active and busy. Get plenty of rest, eat right, and try to get some exercise. It will help with the stress of deployment. Depend on your family and friends to get you through this tough time.
Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki
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